Casino Laws That Can Work

Frank Scoblete has come up with some excellent advice that casinos can follow for what he calls ploppies. He advocates the following rules, if followed would make playing on most casinos more pleasant.

Here are some suggestions From Mr Scoblete:

  1. He says that anyone giving unasked-for advice at a blackjack table, should be removed and told not to return.
  2. Should the said blackjack player return to the casino, they should be arrested for trespassing, continues that the player should be spanked using the stick used in craps for moving the dice along. The player must repeat "I will never give unsolicited advice!" many times out loud.
  3. His advice to dealers that don't understand the basic strategy at blackjack are to be forced to attend blackjack camp, without receiving payment, then they re instructed to memorize all basic strategies for every game, such as, the single-deck, the double-deck and also other-decks. If the dealer cannot learn these basic strategies, they shall also be spanked using the craps stick.
  4. Craps players violating the following rules will be served the following punishments: A player who throws in bets when the shooter has the dice, are to be forced to eat a chip. Continued violation this rule The player will then be banned.
  5. Craps players who uses the word "seven" when at the table should be forced eat the dice when a seven is rolled. For those who continue with this violation of this rule should be banned.
  6. Any craps player that bets a "don't pass" or "don't come" or of they don't bet in this way that irritates the elderly "right-side" players should be forced to share a room with three of the "right-side" players who are currently on probation for doing wrong things.
  7. His advice for a craps player that dangles his fingers, forearms, hands, or head over the layout should have their states body parts removed forthwith. He continued that players except those who have lost their head, should be forced to play a very intense game of catch or be banned from returning to the casino.
  8. Dealers talking over craps games with each other, this is called crosstalk, should have their larynxes removed and no anaesthesia given.
  9. Dealers who give wrong advice especially which are the best bets at craps, they shall be receive a spanking by a stickman who has a full understanding of the game.
  10. Slot players telling other slot players that certain machines are due or not due, Mr. Scoblete suggests that their whole bodies be inserted into a Big Bertha machine for an hour. If the machines arn't available at the casino, the transgressor he suggests that the transgressor then be forced to watch the Democratic and Republican primaries, all of the from first televised, then the transgressors have to write an essay explaining what were the platforms of the various candidates.
  11. Casino workers who inform slot players which machines they think will hit. In such an unlikely event that the machines do make hit, the casino workers do it for tips, these scammer workers should be forced to join those who said that the machines were due/not due to hit. The Big Bertha will be very busy and will have a full belly, or the former primaries will finally be able to get some current viewers.
  12. Players who think that any betting system is as good as any of the other betting systems with regards to games, such as, craps, blackjack, roulette, or the various card games sould be forced to go back to 5th grade for them to learn math, without the essential math they cannot understand the casino games more fully. If after attending 5th grade math and still fail to learn the math of the games, they will will then have to attend 4th grade. If, however, they eventually end up in nursery school and again fail again they will be rolled in mud and placed in a crib.
  13. If a person proclaims they know something about casino gambling and they say all the games are split evenly 50/50 between both male and female players, need go to "casino reality remedial school" so they can learn what the breakdown of the games between the sexes. If these fabricators of the incorrect information refuse to not to believe reality because they are stubborn with regards to PC-ness, then they should be forced to spend some time kayaking the Amazon River with their feet dangling piranha infested water.
Mr. Scoblete says he has more rules that he has developed, however, he feels this is a good start, Thirteen simple precepts that are designed to make the casino experience more enjoyable for everyone especially himself.

It is good manners to behave in a respectful manner at the tables, to not upset the fellow players with trivial violations as stated above, memorise these rules to ensure that everyone has an enjoyable time when playing on a casino.